Laowai!! (Foreigner!!)

Over the past several months, I've become completely inept at interacting with Westerners. I get a little nervous, stutter from time to time, and am overly conscious of everything I'm doing.

Today, while I was buying coffee in the Western shopping complex near my fancy-pants morning school (I wonder if these kids have ever heard the word "no"), I spotted another Western woman picking out pastry a few feet away. We both did the usual double take that occurs when one spots another Western in Pudong (in Puxi, on the other side of the river, it's much more common) and continued on with our business. Yet, all of the sudden I was extremely aware of everything I was doing. When I spoke in English to the cashier, I wondered if she thought it was in bad taste. Then when I didn't understand what the cashier said and had to ask her to repeat it, I wondered if the other woman noticed. Then, oh shit, I noticed she was right behind me. Suddenly, I became painfully aware of the chalk dust on my pants. To make matters worse, I saw that she was wearing nice shoes. Why didn't I wear different pants today, I thought. Things were about to hit rock bottom when my coffee was served and I made straight for the exit with my take-out cup. Attempting composure, I pulled the door towards me. It stuck in its place until I noticed it said "push" not "pull".

I practically ran out of the place... once I was able to open the door.